PokeProblems
by Slytherclaw-girl17
Summary: The PokeCrew is stuck in my house, and who knows what will happen? I do- Nonsense and mayhem!  Based off of fics from Zutarakid50 and One-Winged Author. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

New Pokestory! In dialogue form! And this actually isn't my idea. I got it from The One-Winged Author, who got the idea from zutarakid50. But their stories are about Avatar: The Last Airbender. Mine's about Pokemon!

PS. I do not own any of this. Like, seriously. Except the plot. Like seriously.

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**One Day…**

Me: Damn! I lost again! Ugh… Why do gym leaders use their stupid full restores?

**A large crash was heard.**

Me: What the-

Ash: Hey! Watch it!

Misty: You watch it!

Pikachu: Pika! Pika pi!

Me: Where did you all come from?

Axew: Ax! Axew!

Iris: He means the television.

Brock: Who are you?

Me: Iris-

Iris: Yes?

Me: No, I meant-

Gary: What is this horrible place?

Cilan: I don't think it looks too bad…

Me: (drools)

**Don't insult my house!**

Dawn: What was that?

Me: The author. Now move, you're blocking my view of Cilan.

May: Of who?

Me: The one with green hair.

May: But that's Drew…

Max: No, I think she means the other one.

Paul: The one who looks like a shabby butler?

Me and Cilan: HEY!

Me: Okay, there honestly cannot be ANY more characters in this place! I have neighbors that will kill me!

Max: Well, there's me, May, Drew, Cilan, Gary, Iris, Dawn, Paul, Misty, Brock, Ash and you, which makes a total of 11 plus you. So twelve. Minus the Pokemon, of course.

**I can handle eleven. **

Me: Good. So, listen up. If you're gonna be here for a while, considering you just broke my television, there's gonna be some rules. First, don't talk unless I'm either not in the room, or I allow you to speak

Ash: But what if-

Me: SILENCE! (Throws rock) Second, you pay for and repair any damages you cause.

Ash: I guess that's-

Me: QUIET! (Throws another rock) And third, I get to choose your rooms.

PokeCrew: What?

Me: My house, my rules.

**Actually, it's both of our houses. **

Me: We're the same person!

May: How are they the same person?

Max: It's Fanfiction, it can work. Besides, it worked for Wing and Zutarakid.

Misty: My head hurts.

Brock: At least it's better than a Sue fic. (All nod and agree)

Me: Okay, that was confusing. So, with your rooms-

Iris: What's your name?

Axew: Ax! Axew Ax!

Me: Uh, I'm not giving you my real name.

Paul: Why not?

Me: (glares) I don't trust you.

Misty: You don't trust us?

Me: (Glares so much, your soul dies a little inside) No.

Cilan: Well, I for one am very ready to hear her room choices. And of course, her nickname.

Me: (drools more)

Pikachu: Pika-chuuuuuuuuu! (Thunderbolts me)

Me: AAHHH!

Pikachu: Pika!

Me: You just made the list, kid.

Ash: What list?

Me: The bad one.

Brock: You never told us your nickname.

Me: Fine. Just call me Bambi.

Paul: Bambi?

Gary: Like, the deer?

Me: Yeah.

May: Uh, okay.

Me: Good! Now, for your room choices. I'll go ahead and announce them-

Iris: Who am I rooming with?

Me: Please be quiet. I actually like you, so I won't throw rocks, but please don't-

Ash: Wait, you don't like me?

Me: I think you're cute, but since you're ten and I'm 15, I'm saying no. Plus, you can be really dense sometimes.

Misty: Tell me about it.

Me: SHUT UP! (throws rock) Okay, First Room, before I get interrupted again, is Dawn and Paul.

PokeCrew(minus Paul and Dawn): (snickers)

Dawn: What?

Paul: I'm not rooming with… her.

Me: Yes you are. I actually support Ikarishipping, so yes you are. Second room, Ash and Gary!

Ash: What?

Misty: Why can't I room with Ash?

Me: Because even though I'll be getting death threats from Pokeshippers, I stick to my views of Palletshipping. I hate you, Misty. Learn it.

Misty: (Gulps)

Me: Okay, next room: May and Drew! (Both blush) Ha, I knew it. Fourth room, Max and Iris!

Iris: You don't "ship" us, do you?

Me: No. But you guys are pretty smart in your own ways. I'm sure you'll learn a lot.

Max: Uh, okay.

Axew: Axew!

Me: Aw, cute! And the last room will go to Misty and Brock!

Brock: Why?

Me: Because there aren't any girls that you'd be interested in, and I hate Misty, so she's not rooming with me.

Ash: She could room with me-

Me: NO! (Throws rock) Okay, so now that you all have your rooms, I'll see you next chapter, when-

Cilan: Excuse me, but I don't have a room.

Me: What?

Cilan: You never gave me a room. Do you have any more empty ones?

Me: No, I only have my own. Wait- (smiles, and starts dancing like there's no tomorrow)

Ash: What's she doing?

Paul: I'd say stomping grapes, but there's no fruit here.

Me: (Stops dancing, glares at Paul, and then looks to CIlan) You can room with me, Cilan!

Cilan: Uh, okay?

Me: Great! Everyone- to your rooms!

**They looked at me awkwardly, then started trudging to their rooms. **

Axew: Axew?

Me: Oh, yeah. Well ,you can just go with your trainers. Okay, Pikachu?

Pikachu: (angrily) Pika.

Me: (smiles) Good!

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_Okay, so that wraps up Chapter 1/Intro. __**Next Week: The PokeCrew finds out what Shipping is! And everyone describes their feelings on their rooming situations! **_

_Please review/fave/follow! And check out Zutarakid's and Wing's stories! CYA! _


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: They're Not Boats

_Well, hello again! Right now… I should be writing my essay for English, because it's the end of Spring Break. But I won't! Well, not right now. But I really was excited about this chappie, and so… here it is! _

_James; Ugh.. Where'd we blast off to this time?_

_**Welcome! **_

_Jessie: What? _

_**I'll explain later. Just read the cue card! **_

_James: Uh… Slytherclaw-girl does not own Pokemon, Fanfiction, or anything else mentioned. Except the plot. Totally. _

_Jessie: This sucks._

_Mime Jr: Mime Mime! _

_James: I like this person! Yay, Mime Jr!_

_Jessie: Now this really sucks._

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Me: Okay! Welcome to your new temporary home!

Paul: Yay…

Me: I'm ignoring that sarcasm. Anyway, I am going to do my daily sweep of Fanfiction dot net, so you guys can just relax or something.

Ash: Can we join you?

Me: On what?

Ash: On your quest to read fanfics!

Me: Okay, one, it's not a quest, and two, I wouldn't have the space for all of you to read at once.

Max: But, it's your fic. Can't you… I dunno, make a super computer or something?

Me: I guess so.

**A flash of light appeared, and I was suddenly facing the wall in front of me, which had been turned into giant computer screen.**

Max: Wow! Can I have an ice cream cone?

**Another flash of light, and Max was holding a vanilla ice cream cone.**

Max: But I wanted strawberry…

**You get what you get, kid.**

Me: Okay, now that the 'magical' author is gone, how about we read some fics?

Drew: …

May: Sure!

Me: Okay, here's a Pokeshipping fic, here's a Contestshipping fic, and oh- Cavaliershipping! That's different!

Dawn: What are these 'shippings?'

Me: You've never heard of them?

PokeCrew: No.

Me: Okay, we're getting off of Fanfiction, and onto Bulbapedia!

**A minute later...**

Brock: Whoa, an entire list of ships?

Me: Yeah.

Misty: What's a ship?

Me: Stupid Misty!

Ash: Actually, I'd like to know that too.

Me: It's the belief that two characters are in a relationship or have romantic feelings toward each other.

Ash: And people do this for fun?

Me: We actually like to believe it. Here, I'll just read aloud some that are either popular or really crazy.

Gary: Fine by me.

Me: AbilityShipping- Ash and Anabel

Ash: Wait, who?

May: We met her once. She was in the Battle Tower, remember?

Ash: Oh yeah, her. People ship… us?

Me: She was revealed to have a bit of a crush on you. And they dug a bit of evidence out that seems to prove it…

Ash: But I don't have a… crush on her.

Me: That's what I thought, too. OK… uh, Rocketshipping! Ahem, James and Jessie!

Misty: I always thought there was something going on between them…

Gary: I thought James was gay.

Me: You and about half the country. I think he's just metro.

Max: What's metro?

May: Uh… you'll learn when you're older.

Me: If it weren't for my huge crush on Cilan, I'd totally bring James into this fic.

**I already did.**

Me: Really? Aww… where is he?

**The Disclaimer Room**_**.**_

Brock: The What Room?

**The Disclaimer Room. It's been used by many a fanfic writer to claim that they don't own any of the characters they're using.**

Me: I think I'll check it out… (Leaves)

Drew: She's gone.

Dawn: Finally!

Misty: Why don't we try to escape?

**Yeah... no.**

Iris: You do realize that we'd have to go back to our _own_ world, right? We can't just wander around in Bambi's.

Misty and Paul: Damn.

Dawn: Let's read some more of this list!

Misty: Fine. Here, scroll down!

_Pokeshipping- Misty and Ash_

Misty: Ship it!

Ash: Ship it!

Me: SHUT UP, MISTY!

Paul: Wait. She can hear us?

Me: My fic, my rules.

Dawn: But-

Me: My fic, my rules.

Misty: ...Okay, let's keep reading!

_PearlShipping- Ash and Dawn_

Misty: I'm gonna kill you, Dawn!

Paul: I'm going to kill you, Ash!

May: Awkward…

Misty and Paul: Shut up!

Me: Okay! I'm back! And- Hey, what are you doing with my computer?

Brock: You were gone, so we just looked at a couple more ships.

Me: Oh, okay.

Cilan: Um… what's going on with Ash?

Brock: He looks like he's frozen solid.

Max: Well, what's he looking at?

_DiamondShipping- Delia and Giovanni_

All: (Burst out laughing)

Misty: The boss of Team Rocket and your MOM?

Brock: Dude, that's like, so wrong!

Me: You wanna know something wrong? Look up ElderShipping.

Ash: (nearly dies of horror)

Me: Eldershipping- Delia and Professor Oak.

May: Gross!

Me: Yeah. Hey, Brock, check on Ash. I don't think you're supposed to turn that shade of purple…

Max: What's CactusThornShipping?

Me: Harley and Jessie.

Drew: Ugh…

May: Yeah.

Me: Yeah, gross. But even if I-

Max: What's PenguinShipping?

Me: Dawn and Kenny.

Dawn: (Blushes)

Me: Aww… Dawn has a crush!

Paul: (fumes)

Me: Aww… Paul's jealous!

Kenny: (Blushes)

Me: …

PokeCrew: …

Me: When… When did you get here?

Kenny: Just now.

Me: ...Get out of my house!

Kenny: But-

Me: Now!

**Kenny leaves in a small explosion, leaving a huge hole in the wall. **

Me: Misty! Fix that!

Misty: And if I don't?

Me: Then I will get all of the non-Pokeshippers to kill you.

Misty: (Gulps)

Me: And with that, I think it's time for bed!

Max: It's only seven o'clock…

Me: AUTHOR! CHANGE IT!

**10:30 PM**

Me: Thanks! Man, I can't wait to show you guys what I have in store for Christmas!

May: That's like, 8 months away!

Me: (Sighs) I know. Well, off to bed! I hope you enjoy your sleeping arrangements!

(All leave)

**Later that night…**

Ash: Gary?

Gary: Yeah?

Ash: It's really hot in here.

Gary: Yeah.

Ash: Is there a thermostat around?

Gary: No.

Ash: I can't stand these clothes.

Gary: Me neither.

Ash: D'you think we should take them off?

**Gary turns to Ash, whispering.**

Gary: That's what she wants.

Ash: Gary?

Gary: Yeah, Ash?

Ash: Is that why she only gave us one bed?

Gary: Yeah.

Ash: Gary?

Gary: Yeah?

Ash: I'm scared.

Gary: Me too. Me too.

-x-x-x-

Misty: Hmph. That.. Bitch. I can't room with Ash. I can't even room with a girl. And worst of all, I don't even have a bed!

Brock: Hehe… yeah, sorry about that. If you want, you can have this one.

Misty: I-alright.

**Misty attempts to climb into Brock's bed, while Brock moves to the floor.**

Bed: DANGER! DANGER! MISTY ALERT! PREPARE FOR ELECTRIC SHOCK! (Shocks Misty)

Misty: AAAHHHH!

Me: Did you try to get into that bed, Misty? You're not allowed!

Misty: I know that now!

-x-x-x-

Drew: …

May: At least she gave us separate beds.

Drew: …

May: Oh, look…. Chocolates.

Drew: …

May: Do you want to… go to bed?

Drew: …

May: Uh, okay.

Drew: …

May: Do you want to push the, uh, beds together?

Drew: (Nods)

May: Cool! I mean… uh, cool. I guess.

Drew: …

-x-x-x-

Iris: So then I was like, 'Ash, you are such a little kid!' But, no offense to you, Max.

Max: None taken. You know, you're really cool, Iris.

Iris: Thanks! Do you have any Pokemon?

Max: Nah, I'm not old enough. But May gets to have a lot of fun with hers. (sighs) I can't wait until I get my own.

Iris: Well, you can watch over Axew for a bit, if you'd like.

Max: Really? Cool! Hey Axew!

Axew: Ax!

Max: Neat! What kind of Pokemon is it?

Iris: It's a dragon type!

Max: Cool! Does it know any dragon-type moves?

Iris: Uh, yeah, sorta. It knows Dragon rage, but-

Axew: AAAAX-EEEEEEEWWWWWW!

**The surrounding area completely exploded, burning only Max, Iris, and Misty.**

Iris: But it messes up… a lot.

Misty: What the hell happened?

Me: MISTY! Clean it up!

-x-x-x-

Dawn; So, I think that I'll take the left side of the room, and you can take the right! Okay?

Paul: Hey- Princess. There's only one bed.

Dawn: Hmph. You didn't have to be so rude about it.

Paul: Oh, okay. I'll just act like sunshine and daisies and not have a care in the world. Get real.

Dawn: YOU ARE SO MEAN!

Paul: Hm. Comes with the eyebrows.

Dawn: I swear to Mew, I will kill you before we get back!

Paul: Yeah, right.

Me: Shut up, both of you! I'm right next door!

-x-x-x-

Cilan: You don't have to yell every time they get out of hand.

Me: It's three in the morning. I'm half-dead, and these guys are just waking me up!

Cilan: Well, alright. Goodnight.

Me: Goodnight, Perfect Prince of Awesomeness.

Cilan: Wait- What?

Me: Nothing! Goodnight!

**Cilan turns off the light.**

Cilan: Uh, Bambi? What are you doing?

Me: Shh… Just go to sleep.

Cilan: Yeah, but it feels like-

Me: It's a T-Rated Fic!

Cilan: Yes, sorry. But it's really uncomf-

**Wild ALTARIA appeared!**

**Wild ALTARIA used HYPNOSIS!**

**Cilan fell asleep!**

Me: Heh heh… Perfect.

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Nothing illegal! I promise!

It's okay! _**Next chapter: The PokeCrew comes to terms with the many Pokemon video games! **_Review! I'll see you later!


End file.
